I believe in…

I believe in…

praying man on beautiful sky background
praying man on beautiful sky background

I was never very religious growing up.   My thoughts on Jesus was the that an amazing lived a very long time ago, a preacher who touched many many people. As far as him coming back and being resurrected I believed his spirit did  because I certainly believe that there is something after death. As far as Moses parting the Red Sea, again I believed another great man saved people from hardship somehow got them to another safe land but probably not parting an actual sea to do so.   That was about as far as I really got into religion. There wasn’t a bat mitzvah. I was in a Buddhist. I didn’t go to church.  I only knew as much as the Passover Seder book told. I use to think that made me an atheist but I knew that wasn’t right. I believe something I just didn’t know what.

I always believed in something after death. A spirit of some kind.  My grandma passed away more than 12 years ago. I remember coming back home from her funeral in Florida. I used to have what I call my wedding wall. At the very top of the wall on one side was my father’s parents their wedding picture my paternal grandparents and on the other side was my mother’s parents their wedding picture my maternal grandparents.  Directly below that I had a picture of my father sister at her wedding day on one side and my mother on her wedding day on the other side and on the very bottom was me and my husband on our wedding day. The night I came home  from Florida I was sleeping in my bed when I heard a crash. I went out to look to see what it was and it was my grandmother’s picture at the top of the wall that hit every picture on the way down– knocking none of the other pictures off but eventually crashing on the floor and breaking. Those pictures were hanging on that wall for years with no incidents.  Coincidence? Possibly but it was always my belief in stories like this.

When I started reading A Course in Miracles  and the book talks more of the spiritual plane of things kind of made more sense. There has to be something.  Whether it’s God or some other being or some other name that I can’t answer and that’s the part I’m trying to figure out now but it’s definitely something. When I think of that intuition that we’re all had, that gut feeling, we all know that feeling,  the course calls a inner  guide, Holy Spirit or intuition all the same thing it’s whatever you want to call it whatever speaks to you and I just don’t know yet what speaks to me.  When I pray, because I do pray now, I use the word God but I have not established if that’s truly my belief. I just don’t know how to pray to the universe.  It’s easier to say dear God please help blah blah blah then say dear universe please help blah blah blah. As far as my inner guide I’ve used a lot of names. Usually though I go to inner guide.  Whatever you choose to believe in whatever you choose to call anything just believe. That’s  have what I figured out. There’s no way we’re alone I think that’s what I’ve learned after all these years. Those  great people Buddha, Jesus, Moses, they were great for reasons.   It isn’t the name, it’s the belief and each of us has the right to believe in whomever we want.

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