It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to….

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to….

On Monday evening I had a little incident with my daughter. She was upset with her boyfriend and took it out on me. I can’t say I didn’t understand because she’d be the first one to stand up and say my mom does it all the time. She’s 100% correct I’ve yelled at her for no good reason because I was in a bad mood as my mom has done to me.  During the afternoon before this incident I was alone and feeling blue. I wasn’t sure why just lonely, sad, a little depressed. I left my house to go to a meeting for a petsafe which is now part of Nassau County’s SPCA volunteer group and I’m listening to Linkin Park. That one song comes on the radio and I burst out into tears. Linkin Park holds many memories to my past relationship, crazy but true.  So now I’m driving, crying listening to Linkin Park (way too loud) going to this meeting. I finally said to myself ok you can cry if you want or you can pull it together. I choose to pull it together.  The meeting distracted me for 2 hours and the day was over. Problem was I woke up and I was still sad. The tears were still right at the surface ready to come out. I was lucky I had my first call with my life coach that afternoon. In talking I told her that I felt sad and she told me to “cry if I felt like crying. Part of healing is to get it out and let it go and when we fight back the tears we aren’t letting it go”. She gave me permission to cry. “You have every right to be sad, you deal with your MS daily, still have residue hurt and guilt from a past relationship, your caring for a teenager, 2 dogs an apartment, life…of course it’s a lot some days your allowed to be sad. No one is happy 24/7 and you have to give yourself a break.Tears are there to cleanse and heal. Tears are meant to be released and it’s OK to release them.”

Life is overwhelming at times for all of us no matter if you male or female, young or old, single or married.  It’s ok to be sad and take the time to feel the sadness the trick is when to pick yourself up again.  Eventually you need to say ok tears are done I’ve lived in this sad space long enough pull yourself together and start putting one foot in front of the other again. Point is don’t beat yourself up for being sad and crying, it is natural and human. Praise yourself for the ability to do it and then stand up face the world again with a smile on your face. This too shall pass.

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