Today is the first day I woke up not feeling tired. It was such a wonderful feeling. I haven’t had that in so long. I can’t say how the rest of my day will go but for all my bitching lately it was nice to start off my blog with some good news. I still canceled playing mahjong today. Unfortunately I knew that I probably wouldn’t have the stamina to last too long. However I still worked out. I even increased my weighted gloves to 3lb. That definitely made my workout hard. I needed that. I love feeling like I sweat and a workout was hard.

I did do something this week that I’ve been putting off for too long, I went back to an agency. I left the program of self directed care that paid my aid more money but provided no backup when she couldn’t come to work. I spent too many days on my own which wasn’t safe for me and wasn’t what I was entitled too. I love my aid and tried to make it work but it wasn’t and I finally did something. I don’t know how long she will stay working back with an agency but it isn’t about her, it’s about me.

I kept putting things off because she does do a lot of extra things for me normal aids don’t do. Plus we got along well. When you spend 8 hours a day with someone 5 days a week it’s helpful to like the person. I’m not going to find another aid like her. Yet her own life issues get in the way and it is becoming a problem. Actually it’s not becoming it has already become. I didn’t want to loose her so I kept putting it off and off and off. I stopped putting it off. Change is effective Monday. We will see if she stays. Right now she’s taking time off so I’ll be starting off with a new person already. I just pray they listen to me about my dogs. I hate having people afraid of them.

Anyway I’m hopeful things will workout as they should. My current aid and I will always remain friends regardless what happens. I’m also hopeful that maybe I could be turning the corner with this fatigue. That would really make me so happy. I have had enough of this and would like my life back.