OK, maybe this is a little too premature. I mean this is only day two of being home without my daughter. I had to run the first errand today that normally she would run for me. Needed money at the bank. To take my walker out to go to the ATM that’s just way too many steps. So I wrote a check out to myself and cashed it at the drive-thru teller window, it worked. I have to be smart about what I need and what I can do myself and what I can’t. It’s revamping everything I do or for that matter don’t do but need done. I have to think about it differently now.
The evaluation for the increased nursing hours was completed yesterday. I will have an answer on that by tomorrow. That will certainly make a huge difference in how things get done. I still am having a difficult time adjusting to the realization that I’m 45 years old and need full-time aide care, but that’s what I had with my daughter. She wasn’t around a lot but she was here enough to help me everyday with various task in the house and out of the house. It wasn’t until I got a part time aide and took some of the pressure off of her did I even realize how much I relied on her. My poor daughter, it couldn’t of been easy these last few years. My multiple sclerosis certainly progressed to a point where very simple things became very difficult. I wasn’t asking her for one or two things I was asking her for many many things everyday. I’ve certainly simplified my life, but the need for help will still exist regardless because my body can only do so much. Some days are better than others but mostly the days are the same. The need for help isn’t optional. I can’t be alone without help. I fall way to often, I fatigue way to fast and it isn’t safe for me and that is the bottom line. When Mikayla was around I was safer, she was always popping in and out checking in. Being alone, it isn’t safe so we increased the nursing hours hopefully. I have a new med-alert system that I wear continuously. I try to limit my tasks to when someone is around to reduce my fall risk when I am alone. That’s the best I can do.