Perseverance, persistent or just plain stubborn

Perseverance, persistent or just plain stubborn

I don’t know which one I am take your pick. If you haven’t read my post for the last couple of days, I had an incident. I slid to the floor and I wasn’t able to get up.  One of the culprits could’ve been the fact that I increased one of my medicines, Gabapentin which is the generic form of Neurontin, due to the pain in my shoulder from tendonitis. I increased it on Sunday, and the incident happened on Tuesday.  I stated the truth that this IS NOT the first time this happened, however it has never been as severe as it was Tuesday morning. Yesterday I got a prescription for Motrin  and I took Gabapentin as I normally take it  400 mg once a day. Unfortunately, today my legs are just this weak as they have been since Tuesday. The argument could be made  that now I’m having withdrawl from the gabapentin. I only took the increase for three days. Is it possible? Yes it’s possible so I am not making any calls to any of my doctors yet.

My normal routine in the morning is to work out. I usually do part standing until my legs give out and then I’ll do the other parts in a chair.  Being that within the first 20 minutes of waking my legs fatigued I knew I couldn’t do much.  I thought about skipping my workout, most people would’ve said, so you skip a day what’s the big deal? The big deal for me is the normalcy, the routine, the head space.  The idea of working out isn’t that I think I’m going to burn calories anymore, that’s not gonna happen. For me it’s just moving and doing something and not letting MS win.  It’s like I head game. It’s something I said to myself 19 years ago, MS  isn’t going to make my decisions and I just can’t let it go.  I just had to adjust it today. I did a 30 minute workout in an hour and a half. I broke it down in 10 minute intervals and rested for 20.  Was it ridiculous? Maybe, but for me I need it. When I was done I patted myself on the back. For me I persevered.  I knew I wasn’t going to go anywhere today and I knew I could relax. I know I don’t feel well, I know somethings not right. I’m just not ready to give in. So call me stubborn if that’s the name you choose. I prefer persistent.

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