I’ve surrendered my worry, doubt and fears

I’ve surrendered my worry, doubt and fears

If you have ever read my blog or not, my biggest personal growth this year was reading A Course in Miracles. It’s a book compromised of a reading section, a workbook section and a teachers manuel. I am on the workbook section now which is a lesson a day for 365 days.  I start everyday reading the workbook. I’m currently on lesson 181. Like any spiritual path, A Course of Miracles is not a religion, it is a way of seeing the world differently. Why I started this path, can’t say, it is what resonated with me. I just knew that I wanted to change my views, myself, my thinking and my life. The book came to me without me realizing that I was searching for it.

I have had to give up meditating,for the time being, due to the new puppy. I’ve taken to short affirmations that I can do each morning without risking Zoey eating or doing damage to something she shouldn’t have within the five minutes I’ve closed my eyes. Today I’ve spent the last hour screaming Zoey, NO!!!! That it’s been difficult to even maintain my positive thinking that my affirmations bring. My affirmations have been the same for the last month. I surrender to the universe my past, my future, my worry, my fears, my anxiety, my outcome and my uncertainty. I surrender myself to be a messenger of light and love each and everyday in all I do with everyone I encounter.

Why??? The second part of the affirmation is easy, I want to be a vehicle of love. I want to be compassionate and loving to people ALL people without judgement or preconceived notions. I want to live a life that is honest and fair and kind, it’s as simple as that. Too many times we judge a book by its cover and you never know what miracle can lay beneath the pages. How can you ask for things to change if you are still looking at everything the same?

The first part of my affirmations is to surrender the outcome. I am always basing my life either on the past, which is over, or the future, which is unknown. I’m never in the present. I never allow things to unfold the way it’s intended to. According to A Course of Miracles, there is already the intended path. I worry, fret, and get anxious sending out the wrong vibration into the world. I’m attracting what I DON’T want instead of what I DO. A few months ago I did this with finding a relationship. I surrendered it to the universe or God and prayed on it everyday. I stated basically if it’s meant to be I believe it will be and if it isn’t, it isn’t. I’ve realized now I don’t worry or think much about it. I’m  not sad or anxious feeling like something is missing. I gave 100% of my faith into the plan of the universe and let it be. Now I’m just extended that belief to two other aspects that plague me specifically money and my multiple sclerosis. I’ve let it go knowing I’m safe in the outcome. That the universe has my back and I’ve given it my 100% faith it will all work out.  It’s a mind set of how you view things. I can be that person worrying everyday but I CHOOSE  not to be. I CHOOSE to surrender all those thoughts and just be happy in the present with all I have. I must admit that I am still a work in progress but I do see the changes and I smile more. Life was more than making changes to my diet and my medicines. It was about changing my view on it all too that has helped to reshape my life.

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