From powerless feelings to grateful feelings

From powerless feelings to grateful feelings

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My poor daughter she gets the backlash of my mood swings so often.  I woke up today on the wrong side of the bed.  It wasn’t even because I knew the outcome of our next president either. I would never go online, check emails or even pick up my iPad before reading my course of miracle workbook. I just had a bad nights sleep and I was cranky. Being that I was up most of the night, I know my daughter was up most of the night. I wasn’t shocked when she said she wasn’t feeling good and wanted to stay home, but instead I unleashed all my aggravation with her school work and applying for scholarships that I’ve asked her to start three weeks ago. Far cry from my proud mommy post yesterday. Why does that happen? Understand she wakes up and doesn’t have her cochlear implants on so she’s deaf. Unless she’s looking at me she can’t understand what I’m saying. Would you look at me if I was yelling for really no reason? Where did my true aggravation come from that I snapped like that at 6am? It wasn’t her I was upset about it was obviously something else.  Was it just the lack of sleep knowing I start physical therapy today? No don’t think so because I started crying listening to Marianne Williamson Facebook message about last nights election results.  CRYING!!!!! It had nothing to do with my daughter and really had nothing to do with the election. I felt small though inconsequential in the realm of things. I felt powerless this morning, tired and powerless. Powerless to sleep, powerless over my daughter doing the scholarship stuff, powerless over the election, powerless over the MS. Multiple sclerosis takes a lot away but it also is out of your control most of the time.  That was how I felt in the start of my day. Now I’m faced with the choice to stay in that moment or to remember I’m not powerless and small.  I am as I was created perfect no better no worse than everyone else in this world.  I am love and I’m grateful for the life I have and the people in my life. I was able to cast a vote in our country of democracy and I am grateful for that opportunity. I am grateful for the scholarships that are available in multitudes that my daughter has available to apply for. I’m not powerless I’m actually powerful and I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Today is just one of those day I needed to remember the things I’m grateful for, not the things I’m disappointed or ungrateful with.  Stop for a moment today and be grateful for something yourself. It’s hard to remain upset when you’re grateful.

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