Pity party blog today. I’m just angry today. I wrote my whole blog already was ready to post it but my hand that holds my iPad started to fatigue and my finger hit the settings button on the side panel…lost everything I just spent 30 minutes writing.
What did I do wrong? I exercise six days a week. I try to eat somewhat healthy. I take my medicines. I still get worse. I don’t know what else to do. Everything is such an ordeal it’s so exhausting. I showered that’s it, I showered and I’ve been sitting on the couch ever since tired. I can’t do my hair now there’s no way my hands could do it. I threw on very very light make up normally most days I wouldn’t even wear it. I get dressed getting my feet in the pant leg isn’t easy usually another fight. My socks are another challenge getting my ankle and toes into the socks or my leg high enough to get the socks on. These are things most people take for granted every day that every day is exhausting for me. This morning I have my tai chi class which I really love but to go besides driving there I have to get myself to the car, then from my car the walker needs to come out so I can get into the place, then walk in to walk out later, put the walker back into the car and get home getting once again from the car to my house. You might be reading this thinking OK big deal how much for the walker weigh but that’s not the point. Its the constant movement. It’s the up-and-down. Its the pulling and pushing the walker, all of that, these simple tasks could fatigue me for an entire day. I really want to even pick up a salad for lunch but there’s no way I’ll ever have the energy for it. That would again requiring me to get out of the car, pull out the walker, get into the store, wait online get back to the car, put the walker back and it’s all too much for me to do. This simple simple tasks are too much for me to do. I’m so tired of this. My daily struggle every single day seven days a week 365 days a year and I never get a break and it keeps getting worse and worse. I don’t know how to not break down sometimes and just lose it. It’s so unfair and I don’t understand what else I can be doing. I try to do everything I can do to be a strong as I can and nothing works. I just want to be able to get by and it’s not working. The only thing I have left to say is
F&CK YOU MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS
now we bring you back to your regularly scheduled blog…happy Thursday.