Disability and the roads of friendships

Disability and the roads of friendships

I think it’s happened to most people with disabilities at some point or another that we loose touch with friends as our physical limitations exclude us from activities. Mine happened in two parts. I am one of “those” people that disappear when I’m in a relationship. I know looking back I hurt people because I sided a loyalty with this “loved one” that many of my friends felt wasn’t a good person for me. The problem was I fell in love and the meaning of love is blindness definitely rang true.  The second part of my equation is my MS took a definite turn for the worse making things more difficult. As the relationship turned, worsened and finally ended I kind of looked around and realized there wasn’t anyone really there. The couple that were moved on were involved in different things and even if I wanted to I couldn’t keep up with them.  I knew I was now on a new road and I was alone.  It was sad, I won’t lie, but I had so many other things to work out and through I knew I needed a major change. The biggest lesson in my learning so far is I will always be learning.  It is never ending and I’m ok with that. I want to be a better person to myself and to others.  Making new friends has never come easy for me. I was never popular but after you leave high school you learn that life isn’t a popularity contest. Still making friends was never my strong point and now I know that it’s time at this stage of my life that I need to meet new friends. I joined some MS groups and I did meet some people, people who I would say are friends. What is even more amazing is that I don’t think this story is secluded to just me. Things that people have to think about with disabilities are completely different then those that don’t have limitations. When our limitations stand in other people’s way it can create strains on plans to do something. Trust me when I say we hate it when I have to say um do they have steps or is the bathroom handicap accessible? Then respond and say I can’t do that and all the plans have to change. Trust me we get the inconvenience of us.  That’s why for me sometimes I say no thanks even before I’m technically asked. My life has become more simplified not because I am a loser (thank you ego thinking) but because it needs to.  I’ve excepted this. My goal is to make more connections to people with similar circumstances again not because i don’t love people of my past but my past isn’t my today. My body can’t do the what the past body could. I’ve learned that it’s ok.  I’ve still not mastered the art of making friends but I know I’m a good person with a good heart and I know I’m a good friend.  I also know that the disappearing act I do in relationships I won’t do anymore because I won’t let a romantic relationship define me again. I’ve learned that lesson. Eyes wide open never be blinded again.  I just know that at this stage my health and abilities are extremely important and I want to meet people that have a common thread with me. I’m not sad anymore. I’m hopeful and happy today. I’m thankful and grateful. I’m spiritual and most importantly peaceful. I know I’m walking down the right path.

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